I’m creating a new plant based horoscope. It’s for cactus and succulents, mostly. Maybe other plants will get their own horoscope too. I haven’t decided yet.

First up, we have:

Ypremosus: the constellation just to the left and a little behind Orion.

Dates: February 3 – February 8 (these new signs are going to be very specific.)

Characteristics: Happy, healthy and full of vissicitudes

Your cactus’ horoscope for August: Ypremosus cacti are a little worried they’re too outgoing, too prickly to their neighbors. Be aware of your failings when visiting relatives, and keep quiet. Don’t put yourself out there. Set fruit, hang back and enjoy the summer sun, but be prepared for cloud cover to come soon.