Horoscope


Horoscope03 Sep 2008 07:07 am

Occasionally someone will come into the nursery and tell me that their feng shui consultant told them no cactus. Now I have the empirical evidence to convince them otherwise.

There are a couple of different uses for cacti in Feng Shui. One is to shift a stressful energetic experience of another person to something more comfortable….

The other use offers protection and security for your home or office. Please view ‘Cactus for Protection’ for that information….

You will want to place the cactus in your Fame and Reputation area but not if that is a bedroom or the kitchen.

And by empirical I mean I have evidence that someone else says that cacti can be good feng shui.

Horoscope30 Aug 2008 08:30 am

Today we visit the horoscope of plants born on March 23, 2002.

Since they don’t fit any of the regular plant horoscope signs, we must assign them a new sign for that day: Piggallia Minor.

Cactus born on that day are likely to be picky eaters, selfish lovers, momma’s boys, and Nader-voters.

Pigallian Minors: This week is the most important week of your life. You must get bees to your pollen by Wednesday, or your chances for romance will collapse into a black hole of despair and desperation; you will die a horrible aphid-infested death. On the other hand, if you succeed, and are favored by the bees, you will be honored for a thousand years among your progeny. Your seed will be collected by Monsanto and turned into an aphid-resistant strain that contains a vicious insecticide in your genes. You will not only be the parent of billions of plants for a thousand years to come, but you will also be responsible for the extinction of thousands of species. You go girl!

Horoscope23 Aug 2008 02:06 pm

I’m creating a new plant based horoscope. It’s for cactus and succulents, mostly. Maybe other plants will get their own horoscope too. I haven’t decided yet.

First up, we have:

Ypremosus: the constellation just to the left and a little behind Orion.

Dates: February 3 – February 8 (these new signs are going to be very specific.)

Characteristics: Happy, healthy and full of vissicitudes

Your cactus’ horoscope for August: Ypremosus cacti are a little worried they’re too outgoing, too prickly to their neighbors. Be aware of your failings when visiting relatives, and keep quiet. Don’t put yourself out there. Set fruit, hang back and enjoy the summer sun, but be prepared for cloud cover to come soon.